photo by whiteafrican
At this very moment, as I am beginning this blog post, I have absolutely NO idea what will be written by the end! Isn’t that fun? It’s like an adventure!
Please forgive us for being absent last week. It was VBS (vacation bible school) week at our church, which is a church-wide event all week long. I got up early, got all 5 kids out the door by 8 in the morning and headed out to church. Spent each day from 9-12:30 running from place to place and hanging out with 5th graders and talking about Jesus. Then I gathered up all 5 of my exhausted kids from their classes and headed home.
If that was all that was going on last week, that would have been cake.
Wednesday night we had our adoption home study visit. Needless to say, I was super nervous. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday after returning from church was full of cleaning. And cleaning. And re-cleaning.
Wednesday finally came around and as I was cleaning, the kids came in and said that our pet rabbit was not looking so good and acting weird. (We had brought him outside for the home study) He was looking/acting weird… I brought him into the shade since my only thought was that he was hot. But he was still acting weird.
I went back in the house to continue cleaning and started to hear this strange sound. I went outside to investigate and sadly, it was the rabbit… shaking and making this horrible screaming sound that I wasn’t aware rabbits could make. We took the boys into the house where they wouldn’t have to watch and Josh stayed with him while he died. The boys were so super sad. It was hard. After it was all over, Josh came back in and all the boys went outside to bury him.
At about 5pm our house was clean. Done. And then we had to think about dinner! We opted to go out to Burger King… can you blame us really? The kids played and Josh and I talked for a while, we bought smoke detectors at Home Depot since we knew that was going to be something they asked for in the home study visit and then we went back home to wait.
Our case worker was nice. She talked to the kids for a while, looked around our house and talked with Josh and I for about an hour after the tour was done. As she was talking to us about the program, I started to feel… uncomfortable. Like we were not in the right adoption program.
After she left, I told Josh how I was feeling and he confirmed my feelings. In the last few days, God has turned us upside down and we are going to be pursuing a new direction for our adoption. I don’t want to reveal it quite yet, because no cement plans have been made. But- I will tell you that we almost had to wait until August to get our home study visit, we were down to the wire, but finally got in our last piece of paperwork and got our visit scheduled before our caseworker went on vacation. I believe that with ALL my heart, God timed that visit exactly right because now we have some time to figure out what we are going to do before our next meeting is scheduled. We’re hoping that we can use the work we’ve already done for our home study and turn it to work for a dossier so that we won’t have to start over from scratch. And that’s the only hint I will give you at this point.
On Saturday, God gave us a house. I’m not kidding. That is not set in stone yet either, so I am not going to get into the details of that yet. But, I will tell you this; About a year ago, I had a dream. It was one of those dreams that you just KNOW meant something more than just a dream. I dreamt that our family was moving into a big house. The thing I remember most about the dream, was the joy of it. We were moving into this house and were all so excited because we knew that God gave us this house, because there was no way we could have gotten it on our own. We also knew that God had a very specific reason and purpose that He wanted to give us this house.
I awoke from that dream knowing that one day, when we were ready, God would give us the perfect house for us.
My dream just might be becoming a reality. We will hopefully be having that joyful moving day in October. There is NO way we could have done this. God did it. Despite the roadblocks that have been put in our way already up to this point in regards to our adoption, this is a HUGE confirmation to me that we are following the plan that God has laid out for our family.
And honestly, I was in such desperate need of a Godly reassurance last week. At the beginning of last week, I was at my end. I was stressed, tired and battle weary from our fight. I’m pretty sure that I was in some form of tears every single day last week from the emotional strain. I was tired.
But then.. God gave us a house. It was like Him saying directly to my heart, “Don’t give up. This is my fight. You’re on the right track. I am on your side. I have your best at heart. I will take care of you. Nothing is too big for me.”
And now… I’m ready to fight again. I mean, if God is indeed on our side, who in the world is going to be able to stop us?
I got goosebumps when I read about the house. I get that so much. Soemtimes ya just know, and you feel God loving you so much, not just because he’s giving you something, but because he LOVES you and is caring for you and for his plans for your (his) future.
I needed this so very much today. We have sold our home, are finishing final repairs before closing in less than a month, and have no idea where God is taking us. Two and half years ago my husband was let go from a good job due to downsizing. God provided another job, but it is 30 miles from our home, and 10% less than we were getting before. God still kept us going. Then out of the blue the old company called back and wanted to rehire my husband. The company is 1.5 miles from our home and they were offering to bring him back at the same pay rate as if he had never been let go. In the meantime God sent buyers, and we joyfully looked forward to the next piece of our story unfolding. This morning we got a call that the job has been put on hold, with no firm time line for when we will know whether or not it is still a possibility. So, now we wait and wonder. I’ve struggled with every emotion in the book. I really, really needed this today. I can’t express how much. We know God is in the driver’s seat, but truly have no idea where we are headed. Thanks for sharing your heart.