Just being honest.
I’m sitting here at my computer contemplating life and certain situations that I have been involved in one way or another in recent weeks. Sometimes I just need to sit and be a bit introspective.
I am thinking about words, and filters. I am thinking about what it means to be submissive to authority (and what sorts of authority are included in that) and how to balance that with being honest about things. I am wondering how much honesty is too much honesty or if there is such a thing. Or are there just times when being honest is appropriate and times when it is not. Or is it not the honesty part that may or may not be appropriate, but the words used to express the honesty?
When I grow up, I want to be someone who is gracious but truthful. Someone who is honest about everything, but tactful. I want to be someone who people know they can talk to and ask advice from and know that whatever I say is going to be honest, but that it comes from a place of love for that person.
I don’t want to attack people, but sometimes people need to be hit over the head with Truth in order to actually hear it.
These are muddy waters for sure and difficult to navigate. But they are necessary for everyone, and especially people like me who perhaps tend to speak truth and try and tack grace on to the end of it.
I have found that I have a love of words. I say a lot of words. I say words to people, I say words on this blog and I say words on Facebook. People comment on the words that I say… usually commenting on the amount of them. I know that I need to be careful with my words. People may or may not believe that I AM generally very careful with what I say. Rarely do I regret things that I say, even if it offends, because I generally filter my (many) words quite severely.
I completely understand what Anne said on Anne of Green Gables when she muttered defeatedly, “If people only knew how often I wanted to say something and didn’t, they’d give me some credit.”
Words have a great deal of power for good or for evil. Obviously, I want to use my words for good. But what does good mean? What does it look like? Is good a universal thing? Is good going to look the same to everyone? Or is the good that I can do specific to me? Meaning that the things that I say in the way that I say them going to resonate with some people and do them good, while offending others?
I’m inclined to believe that it’s the latter. The problem is that the “offending others” does not just mean unbelievers. It means other Christians as well in some cases. Christians who either do not agree with my theology OR do not like the manner in which my theology comes out.
And right there is where I find myself struggling with issues of authority and submission and appropriate honesty. I know that if I am honest about my feelings or beliefs in some cases, I run the risk of offending people and making the situation worse. Those people are people who are my brothers and sisters in Christ.
A friend of mine a couple weeks ago said something on facebook that so resonated with me: “We need to be careful to be who we were created to be. When we begin to alter ourselves to “fit in” or “be liked” we begin to die. Not everyone will like me, and that is okay. I’d rather be the me God made than the me I make.”
I love the fact that God created me to be me. I’m not supposed to imitate anyone except Jesus. But I also know that God puts people in place in my life and yours to spur us on to good works. To encourage us to grow and mature. Iron sharpens iron. So I guess that I’m just really struggling to reconcile those two ideas. How do I be the me that God created me to be, and not try to “fit in” to someone else’s idea of how I should be while still being teachable and humble to learning and growing?
I have no answers.
See… I told you. Not helpful at all.
Maybe this post didn’t “solve” anything; but I did find it to be helpful to be life-giving and not life-robbing. I loved reading your thought process; it all seems to point to a heart that is seeking to submit to God’s ultimate authority — which at times means submitting to authority dressed up like a man or a woman
Again, thank you for sharing these thoughts; they really spoke to me and helped me to know I am not alone in feeling like the balance is illustive at times.
You are such a blessing, Kristi! I am thankful for how you are open to God working in your life and how His work is evident in your posts. Even though you didn’t come up with any answers it’s very obvious you are seeking God in this area- what’s a better answer than that??
You many not have given any answers but I do think this post was helpful to me. It speaks to my heart this week as I deal with a tough situation with fellow Christians involving speaking the truth in a Biblical way. I love the reminder to be who we are created to be by God. Here are some verses I have been praying on as I try to find that balance of truth and honesty mixed with grace and love:
Proverbs 4:23 – “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” The notes in my Bible say to guard you heart by filling it with the word so that your actions and words spill out of that. I love that. It reminds me that I don’t have to spend so much time thinking about what I should and shouldn’t say. If I am pressing into God, what he wants me to do and say will come from him.
Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” – Again, instead of leaning on my understanding in all of this I am reminded to trust the Lord. I can acknowledge him by believing in who he is. He is love, truth, grace and I am to be like him. If I focus on that, the road won’t be so bumpy!