Photo by Wisconsin Historical Images
Welcome to our 5th and final post in our series! If you haven’t yet, please make sure that before reading this, you first read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4. Whew! This has been quite the series…and even though this is the 5th post, it doesn’t feel like we’ve covered everything…there’s just no way to do that! It is such a big subject. My hope and prayer for this series though, is that it has given you something to think and pray about. God has been revealing things to me along the way and I hope to you too!
I would like this post to reflect God’s heart. For us as women and as homemakers. One word that has been coming into my head and my heart over the last few weeks is, PEACE. I have personally been working on doing things in my house that cultivate peace. (1 Peter 3:11 says; He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.) Because you know what? God is a God of peace. He is a God of order. No matter where I am, whether it be at home while cleaning or cooking a meal, or out at the grocery store or running errands, I need to be reflecting peace. Because that is who and what God is. And if I believe that my calling is to be the keeper of my home, then my home is my domain and it is my job to reflect God as much as I can in my domain. I believe wholeheartedly that God wants us to have peace. And He wants us to reflect His peace to the rest of the world that is drowning in chaos.
Satan is the author of chaos. I believe that Satan will use anything and everything that he can in order to distract us. He doesn’t need to talk us into taking drastic action like leaving our faith or our families, he just needs to keep us busy and immersed in chaos in order to be successful.
And how easy is it for us to be so busy and to feel so chaotic while working, running errands, cooking dinners, making lunches, doing laundry, helping with homework, driving to soccer practice, and gymnastics and youth group that we just are too busy to pay attention to God! Too busy to read the Bible, too busy to pray, and certainly too busy to be able to hear Him. I know that I’ve been guilty of this, and I’ll bet you have too.
So, I will ask you this… Does working outside the home create peace? Or does it create chaos?
Did you know that Jesus is a Homemaker? Read John 14:2-3.
In my father’s house there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also will be where I am.
As Sandy Snavely says in her book, Called to Rebellion, “If Jesus doesn’t feel that being a homemaker is a waste of his life, maybe we would do well to follow his example.”
I believe that we are to view our homemaking as MINISTRY.
I’m not going to write the whole passage, but I would like to direct you to Matthew 25:34-46 where Jesus is talking about when we care for the “least of these” then we are caring for Him.
For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me….
…I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.
I don’t know about you, but that sounds like motherhood to me!
“Many people pray, “Lord, give me a ministry! Show me what I can do for you!” While the answer is right there under their noses. Yes, the world needs Jesus, but our spouses and children desperately need to be the primary recipients of our ministry efforts. If we save the world but lose our marriage or family in the process, what does that do to our witness? Can we really do more for others than we can do for those living under the same roof?” (Greg Ethridge,)
“Often we don’t view our daily activities biblically. We wrongly believe that the more mundane the task, the less significant it is to God. As difficult as it may be to believe, the hands that tenderly bathe your baby at night are no less holy than the hands that serve you communion on Sunday. Every small act of love to your family- every diaper you change, every meal you prepare, every toilet you scrub, every errand you run, every fever you tend to, each tooth you pull, every moment of undefiled intimacy with your husband- each is a holy act when it’s done as unto the Lord.” (Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God)
“What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow.” (Martin Luther)
God loves you. He really, really does. He wants what is best for you and He knows what that best is for you. But in most cases, I’ve found, His best looks very different than what I think “best” is.
Is it a sin to work outside of your home? Is it a sin to contribute financially to your family? I would say no on both accounts. There can be a time and a place for both of those things. But if contributing financially to your house begins to take priority over your family and your homeward responsibilities, if you are doing it out of fear, or control, or pride, or rebellion against the calling that God has given you, then I think it can be a sinful thing.
“While I believe that it is harmful for those of us in the household of the Master to impose guilt upon one another for why we do or do not work outside the home, I believe that there is legitimate guilt we need to face individually regarding this issue. There is a right cause for our consciences to be in conflict if we are in a place where we should not be…
….When we are in the right place with the Master, peace is inevitable.” (Sandy Snavely, Called to Rebellion)
So, the question is; Are you going to trust? Are you going to seek peace and pursue it?
“Homemaking isn’t about starched aprons, pearls and high heels. It’s about doing the will of God even when the world scoffs. It’s about loving the high calling that God especially has given to women. It’s about learning to trust when circumstances would tell us to doubt and fear.
We are called to be different- not conformed to the pattern of this world but transformed by Christ. We are to live in such a way that others may have hope. When we trust in the Lord and submit to His design for marriage, family, home and church, then our homemaking accomplishes far more than just making homes. It has the power to impact countless lives and generations for the glory of God.” (Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God)
Kristi – I applaud you on digging deep and writing this series – it has been one of my deepest hearts desire to be a stay-at-home Mom, but as a single Mom it is not a path I can choose right now. I have to be much more creative as I strive to find the “peace” you speak of in my home. I know there are challenges to staying home, but the rewards are great & I encourage those of you in a two-parent home to make the necessary sacrifices to make it a reality. I pray God’s continued blessing on your family as you make this your priority.
Thank you Beth!
AMEN AMEN AMEN!! Very well said, and I could not agree more!! I’ve LOVED this series!!
Very nice series! I sat down and read it all through today. I work part time (30 hours) to keep health insurance. My husband has not had a job in 2 years. God did bless him with a job about 2 months ago. The “plan” is for me to keep working till spring, then to go to weekends only. Which would be 20 hours a week. I feel the call to stay home, but we are trying to make the basement livable. We have 2 boys and one girl and we have a 2 bedroom hose. 7 hundred something square feet-so we’re not living large. =)
This has been a topic on my heart for 8 years. I know God will provide.
Sorry, I didn’t mean for this response to be so random. My point is …Thank you.
=)
You’re welcome Trisha! And we’re all about randomness over here! And congrats on your husband’s job!
Krist, I came across your blog thanks to your article posted on Joy’s blog (Stay at Home Missionary). You have put a great deal of thought and research into putting this series together and it provides a lot of constructive food for thought.
My own story is an example of God leading from one season of life to the next. I was a SAHM for 13 years, and then was offered a Teacher’s Aide position in my children’s school at the start of last year. Next year I begin a teaching degree which I will do by external study, allowing me to fit it in with the needs of my family. God has definitely led me down this path and I believe He is preparing me for the season ahead, when my children are all grown. I graduate the same year my oldest daughter finishes high school.
It is so important to seek God’s will and be willing to follow, wherever that leads. For me, it was being brave enough to step beyond my home. For others it will be taking the courageous step of leaving the financial security and stay home. Whatever it is, God is faithful in working out the details of His plans for us.
“And how easy is it for us to be so busy and to feel so chaotic while working, running errands, cooking dinners, making lunches, doing laundry, helping with homework, driving to soccer practice, and gymnastics and youth group that we just are too busy to pay attention to God! Too busy to read the Bible, too busy to pray, and certainly too busy to be able to hear Him”
And of course those women who have a multitude of children who homeschool whilst pregnant with the next blessing, being keepers of their homes, tending a garden, NEVER experience being to TIRED or BUSY to pray. I would have to say they are just as frazzled at home as a working mom.
You are right, Jane…being a mom is the hardest job that there is, no matter what! With 5 kids of my own, there are definitely days when I am frazzled and/or tired. It definitely goes with the territory. I think though that being at home with my kids gives me the unique opportunity to have control over the majority of my days. If and when I feel like I am needing a bit of a break, I can institute “quiet time” for everyone and take a few minutes on my own to decompress and get refocused on my priorities. If I was working and/or always had something that I needed to be doing or somewhere I needed to be, I wouldn’t have as much control or ability to do that I think.
I feel like you have read my every thought and then some on this topic. I loved your series! I love your heart and look forward to reading your other posts! What a great blog you have. If I lived in Oregon I think you and I would be really close friends. Too bad I live in flat old Indiana! Being a stay at home mom has been such a blessing for me and for my husband and I am sure for my son too even though he can’t talk. I do not miss work one bit. I like the stress that being a mom brings verses the stress that I felt working full time.
Hi Kristi,
For me, this topic is one with which I struggle daily. My husband and I prayerfully purchased our home in 2007, and were blessed with our first child in January of 2010. I never wanted to go back to work, but even though we’ve been diligent about paying off our debt (nod to Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover!), living on a budget, and sacrificing, we can’t afford for me to stay at home full time right now. Because I have the college degree, I’m the primary breadwinner, and we just can’t live on my husband’s income. I pray about this daily – constantly, it seems – and I have questions for God. God moved us to buy this modest house, but the mortgage is half of what my husband brings home each month. Why would God bless us with this home we can’t afford if I don’t work? He’s in college now (paid for 100% by his employer), working toward a degree that will hopefully lead to increased income, but won’t graduate until March 2012. I don’t want to work. I agree that God’s design for families is that I wouldn’t work outside the home, and maybe it was sin that led us into this situation, or maybe it’s not the right time in God’s eyes. My heart is willing to leave, but I can’t wrap my head around quitting my job when I know that without my income, our bills won’t get paid. I am completely ready to step out in faith, but I struggle with questions like, “Didn’t God provide for us already by giving me the job I have now?” Maybe this is His way of providing for us right now, but it isn’t a permanent situation.
Before I went back to work, I was praying one night, pleading with God to MOVE SOMETHING so that I didn’t have to go back to work. I gave him a list of reasons for me not to, and my primary reason was because I love my daughter so much. He told me, “I know you love her, but I love her more. I would never do anything to hurt her, and this [you going back to work] will not hurt her.” I think I just had a breakthrough of my own as I re-read what I just wrote. My primary reason for not wanting to return to work was because I love my daughter so much, not because I love God so much.
He’s definitely been using this time to change my heart. I can honestly say that the impetus I feel to leave my job is now due more to a desire to be obedient to Christ than to fulfill my fleshly desires as a mother. Thank you, Lord, for showing me the true condition of my heart.
And thank you, Kristi, for your ministry.