photo by sera_leaving
One of the very common, perhaps even the most common phrases that all of us Christians are familiar with is, “God will never give you more than you can handle… or more than you can bear.”
I know over the years I have thought this, I have said it to people, and I have heard people say it to me, to others, or about their own situations.
I mean, it seems reasonable, right? The perspective that God would never overly burden us. Or that our God knows us so well… better than we know ourselves, so of course, He knows what we can handle and what we can’t. He protects us.
Over the last year or so, as I have heard people say this, there has been something nagging in me. You know.. that feeling you get in your spirit when something just isn’t right? I could never really explain why all of a sudden, this phrase did not sit well with me. But it didn’t. I understood on some level that this perspective did not fit my personal experiences with God, but never knew exactly how to counter it.
This last weekend, we went to an all day seminar on different aspects of adoption as part of our required training. Part of the day was a panel of parents who went through the program and they all had their babies with them and were telling their stories. One of the ladies was talking about how hard the waiting part was for her, but she knew that God would never give someone more than they could handle.
Josh immediately leaned over to me and said something to the effect of, “Well, that’s not Biblical” or “Where is that found in the Bible?” And I realized that I was not alone in my feeling that this statement just isn’t true.
This statement, I have realized, is just plain “fluffy” Christianity. If you believe this statement, then you probably deep down believe:
* That God is limited to what my own strengths are.
*That MY strengths are the most important determining factor to what God can and cannot do in my life. Or what he will or will not do.
*That I can personally handle EVERYTHING that ever has happened or will happen in my life.
*That God has personally equipped me with everything I need to deal with every situation that comes up- therefore, I really have no need for anything else.
Can you look at those statements and figure out who the focus is? It’s not God. It’s ME. I once told a friend, that when you are confused about differing opinions on theology, to just peel the theology down to the very core. Do those opinions point to God or do they point to the person?
If, at the core of someones theology, that person is at the core, I don’t think that it is Biblically accurate. God has to be at the core. He’s our North on a compass.
At church yesterday, I heard the ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’am’ verse that supports my feelings of this statement being false.
We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. (2 Corinthians 1:8-9. Italics/bold mine.)
I’m not even sure that I need to say much more than that! It’s pretty self-explainatory!
You see, God DOES know exactly how much we can handle. And I believe that oftentimes, the only way that He can display His glory is by giving us SO MUCH MORE beyond our ability to handle it, so that He can come in and show Himself.
Most of you, at this point have read my story, Leah’s story and Andrea’s story. Our stories are all vastly different. But you will notice a common thread I think. We each had to reach a point (or more than one point) where we understood that the situation we were in was beyond our ability. It was out of our control. And that is where we saw God. That is where our hearts changed. And that is where our faith grew into what it is today.
Ladies, that. is. how. God. works.
The trouble that I’ve realized is that life is so easy in a lot of ways here in America. In the majority of cases, we all have adequate food, an adequate place to live, a decent job. We take birth control to control our family size, we can go into large amounts of debt to acquire anything we desire. In general, we avoid pain and difficulty at all costs. We don’t take risks, or step out in faith very often. We are in control of our lives, to a large degree.
Shame on us.
If you are forever staying within situations where you are in control, how strong really is your faith in God? It’s probably mediocre at best because you haven’t had many situations that you have had to rely on God for anything.
And please hear me… I don’t say this to shame or guilt anyone, or judge or condemn. I’m saying it because this was always my own life experience. I was in control of everything! Until I wasn’t. And I had no choice but to allow God to come in and fix things because there was no way that I could.
And you know what? I want to do it again. I saw the value and the beauty of being at the end of myself and getting a front row seat to watch God work stuff out. I have seen the beauty of my own heart grow in faith and dependence on God. And I want more. And more. And more.
So, what does this have to do with you?
Everything.
What has God been asking you to do? What have you said no to, because you didn’t think you could handle it?
You might want to reconsider that.
Amen!! Awesome post Kristi! If I had a dollar for every time someone said that phrase to me over the past four years I would be one wealthy girl. I felt my heart being spoken when you wrote about being at the end and having the amazing front row seat to see God working. I love how you say you want more and more, I couldn’t agree more with that!
I’ve heard that this statement is not biblical before but I’ve never sat and thought about it. You are so right in this post! That statement certainly puts God in a box. He is so much bigger then anything that might happen in our lives. I know, from experience, that He allows hard things to bring us closer to Him that He might be glorified.
Thank you so much for sharing!! I have shared this on Facebook and may just be putting it on my blog also.
Here is the Bible verse, if you’re interested …
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:13
The context of this is so important — he will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that you will be able to bear it …. you are so right apart from Him we can do nothing, but with Him we can do all that He requires of us!
Tina, you’re right that apart from Him we can do nothing!
The context of that verse that you shared though is the subject of temptation. We will never be TEMPTED without an escape or beyond what we can bear. But that doesn’t really have anything to do with other really, really hard life circumstances though. So if someone was to use that verse to say that God would never give you more than you can handle, it would be out of context unless they were talking specifically about temptation.
Comment via email from Anna Marie:
right on, Sister; thar phrase has overwhelmed many people. God frequently gives u more than we can handle so we understand that we have to depend on Him- not ourselves. He said that no temptation has come that is more than people have alwways faced, but GOD is faithful nd will provide a way out, Anna Marie
Came over from Raising Homemakers link up. Awesome post and of course, just what I’ve been needing to hear
I think it’s partly a matter of the way you interpret the saying “God will never give you more than you can handle.” When I hear it I tend to think along the lines of “My grace is sufficient for me, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Whatever difficult situation God brings or allows into your life, He will give you the grace and strength moment by moment.
If we had someone say to us, “Two years from now you will (have a certain problem or problems),” we would many times say, “I could never handle that.” God doesn’t always give us the grace in advance, but to meet each moment through Him instead of ourselves. And, as much as I wish it weren’t true, I learn so much more through hardships and difficulties that leave me crying and seeking God.
But I know what you mean about certain “Christian” comments or sayings rubbing you the wrong way. The one that always bothers me is something along the lines of “If it turns out that heaven is a myth, and I was wrong about God at least I will have lived a good life, etc.”
I heard that too many times while preparing to move to a third world country. My thoughts were, “There is no way I would be doing this if I didn’t believe 100% in the truth of the gospel!”
A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench, till he send forth judgment unto victory. Matt. 12:20
I think this scripture might be another one that people look to when they say that He won’t give us more than we can take. I know I’ve been through more than a lot of people but I’m still hanging on with God’s grace and mercy.